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A love letter to Lost Angeles.

January 23, 2018

As I’m sick feeling like I’m completely falling apart on the couch, I woke up with such an urge to speak about a lesson I’m thankful to have learned and want to share. 

I often hear people speak about how awful the people who inhabit LA are. I’ve noticed it’s a common topic people tend to go towards, especially when I first meet someone. It’s as if it were a good conversation starter for some people, and evidently, it bothers the efff out of me. Like, HELLO, I live here and I don’t think I suck and my three friends (I don’t have a big circle) can back me up on that. That, and when women say they don’t like other women – seriously, just stop it. But that’s another problem we won’t get into now, ladies.

The problem about LA isn’t the people who live here, it’s the fact that it’s easy to get caught up in a lifestyle that people crave so badly. To have fame, be wealthy, have everyone idolize you and envy you all while having a perfect body and perfect face. I’ve lost so many friends to getting so carried away in a lifestyle that’s not only NOT real, but also does not give you fulfillment in a greater sense. Naturally, we all want those things to some extent, but when your objective is corrupted, then everything that follows it is corrupt as well. What we give out is what we attract. If you’re exuding dishonesty, manipulation and greed, guess what…. here’s a hint- that’s what you’re gonna get in return.

This isn’t something that just happens in Los Angeles though, this happens everywhere. There’s always going to be someone whose life looks perfect, therefore, you envy and want. But even that person you’re spending so much time envying has something else they’re badly craving too. It’s a never ending cycle. The problem is that we aren’t focusing enough energy on gratitude. Being thankful for what we HAVE and the ability to work hard for the things we want will satisfy us way more than being handed, or to chase after a lifestyle that will only leave us wanting more. 

2017 was an exceptionally telling year for me. It showed me what I want/need for myself and what I didn’t want/need in my life. It also granted me the knowledge of importance for gratitude. I can finally say that I’m happy with who I am and where I’m at and that be enough, but that I’m only going to work harder to see what exciting things God will bless me with. 

Truly, the scariest thing to me is seeing young women and men be under such an impression of a what a good life looks like that is ultimately unattainable or damaging. Girls think they have to have a specific face and body to be beautiful. Boys think they have to speak and hold themselves a certain way to be desired and look strong. When we have these preconceived ideas of what importance, beauty and significance looks like, everything that actually matters gets lost in the shuffle. 

Wrapping my novel up, I wanted to stress importance to shift our idea of happiness and satisfaction before we proceed to chase success so our why’s are in the right place. That we seek out women and men of all ages and help guide them to the truest form of happiness and satisfaction EVERYONE can obtain! But remember, we can’t help others until we help ourselves. So that being said, be patient, be kind to your body and your mind. You already have everything it is you need to live a great life. You’re alive and breathing. That enough is something to be truly thankful for.

  • Reply
    Clarisse
    January 23, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Love how eloquently put this was. Your writing is so real and honest, keep it up ❤️

  • Reply
    Sabrina
    January 23, 2018 at 10:00 am

    This was inspirational I love it so much it’s definitely true. I’m still coming to terms about who I am and starting to love myself more and not care what anybody else thinks I use to be that way but now. I don’t know .

  • Reply
    Linzi
    January 23, 2018 at 10:07 am

    This was such a good and well written piece. After having a rubbish couple of weeks, reading this has definitely helped. Thank you Stella ❤

  • Reply
    Faiz
    January 23, 2018 at 10:07 am

    It is beautiful to see an read how you phrases your word. It is raw, honest and refreshing. As a journalist, I love to be able to write it the way you write. Hoping to see more wonderful insights from you!

  • Reply
    Paige
    January 23, 2018 at 10:09 am

    You’re amazing Stella!! As beautiful as you are, the prettiest thing about you is your heart! Thank you xx

  • Reply
    εïзPAULY HUDGENSεïз (@NesahudgensFans)
    January 23, 2018 at 10:13 am

    Stella, this is so nice👌💖
    I love how honest you are
    Every time I’ve been reading you make me
    reflect on how I’m driving my life and help me see
    things in a more positive way…. 💘
    Thank you Stella i Love you 💓

  • Reply
    Lauren
    January 23, 2018 at 10:16 am

    Thank you for this. Finding ourselves truly is a lifetime job and it can get real tough sometimes but your words really made me feel better about myself, the struggle I’m constantly going through but most importantly the fact that giving myself all the chances I need will get me where I need to be some day. Thank you, really.

  • Reply
    Crystal
    January 23, 2018 at 10:33 am

    Amazing, thank you for this Stella
    You’re so beautiful inside and out
    I’m loving your blog and every article in it
    So humble, stay golden and never change 💓

  • Reply
    Cherry
    January 23, 2018 at 11:30 am

    So beautiful and strong. Thankyou for this and for all your other blog posts. I didn’t know I needed to read these words until right now. So again I thankyou. 💗

  • Reply
    Rhiannon
    January 23, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    Totally awesome way to put it, hopefully we can spread this knowledge to everyone for a stronger, better feeling community as a whole! ❤️

  • Reply
    Victoria Emilaire
    January 23, 2018 at 1:08 pm

    I love this so much…. check out my blog post if you ever get a chance…. your truly inspiring 👑

  • Reply
    Lay
    January 23, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    There’s a lot of truth in this, I appreciate the post Stella. It’s especially interesting to see your perspective, you know, someone who actually lives in LA. I’ve always wanted to travel there (still do) but like you said, people would always talk about how awful the people are there. Luckily I was taught to not judge something in it’s entirety based on the negative opinions of others. I think we as humans are naturally judgmental, but we have to learn how to put aside those preconceived notions and truly get to understand the truth for ourselves.

    I am excited for the next post girlie! Have a blessed day 🙂 x

  • Reply
    Lex
    January 23, 2018 at 3:18 pm

    You are SOOO right

  • Reply
    West
    January 23, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Thank you for your perspective. I do concur.

  • Reply
    Michael
    January 23, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    So much truth to this. If people just focused on being the person they know how to be and being themselves instead of worrying about what society and other people want them to be. The world would be a happier place.

  • Reply
    Mi
    January 23, 2018 at 7:27 pm

    This is so good, stella. You are so beautiful inside out. Stay kind. ❤

  • Reply
    Cess0295
    January 23, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    I agree with this whole post! Our identity is not always like how others perceive us. And we should learn to be grateful even during the lows in our lives. As what I’ve learned from one of Pastor Steven Furtick’s sermons, being grateful shouldn’t be an emotion but an attitude. Thank you, Stella, for putting light into things perceived as dark by others. God bless!

  • Reply
    Prytta
    January 23, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    Amazing thoughts! Thank you, Stella!

  • Reply
    Gisselle
    January 23, 2018 at 10:41 pm

    I don’t usually read blogs and stuff but I love yours because it’s interesting and you seem genuine in everything you write. Thanks for being honest and sharing your insights with others 🙂

  • Reply
    MoonGirl
    January 24, 2018 at 3:42 am

    Love this! Xo from Italy 🇮🇹

  • Reply
    Ivette Juliana
    January 24, 2018 at 4:45 am

    Very eloquently put. I love it!

  • Reply
    Denise
    January 24, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    This is exactly what I needed 💕

  • Reply
    Ana
    January 24, 2018 at 8:29 pm

    Thank you!💕

  • Reply
    Hunter
    January 25, 2018 at 7:41 am

    The future may be bright yet.

  • Reply
    Layla Sprinkles
    January 26, 2018 at 10:13 am

    This is such a lovely and well-written post! We should be grateful for everything that we have and support each other without jealousy or putting pressure on other people. We are all unique and beautiful and we should be supporting others rather than bringing them down or trying to achieve something ‘perfect’.

    Hope you’re well!

    Layla x

    http://www.sprinklesofstyle.co.uk

  • Reply
    Tei
    January 28, 2018 at 10:39 am

    Stella, i admire you strongly. I’m 16, living just outside of London, England. I don’t have any siblings but I look up to you like a sister 🧡 You’re such a humble, beautiful spirit, and you inspire me in everything you do! I’m incredibly proud of your blog, it’s perfect. I wish you so much happiness and prosperity for the future 🌹🌷

  • Reply
    Carmen
    January 29, 2018 at 4:12 pm

    Absolutely love love love 💓 xxx

  • Reply
    Chloe
    January 31, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    I love this! I love your passion and fire towards false identity and the worldly things we do often identify ourselves with. True beauty, success and satisfaction has been lost through many years of deluded and unrealistic expectations and ‘goals’ that bombard us from the moment we’re able to buy our first magazine or create it first social media account. So many things in recent years have taught us to strive after things that won’t excel our abilities or strengthen our intellect or stabilise our future – things like this then teach our younger generations that it’s okay to do that because we’ve been doing it all along! We really need to shift the perspective of what beauty, success and satisfaction truly are and I love that you’re using the platform you’ve been given in such an advising and guiding way. ❤️

  • Reply
    Mimi
    February 9, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Well said!

  • Reply
    Nadine
    February 11, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    Such a beautiful mind!!!

  • Reply
    Yas
    April 9, 2018 at 3:18 am

    Don’t read this unless you want to take a trip down memory lane…
    When I was 14 I used to want to have your life, I used to always check if you posted on Keek, IG, Twitter… I would copy your outfits and I even dyed my hair blonde when you did. I feel quite close to this particular article due to the fact that I feel like I know what you are talking about? You were the centre of attention and you had so many friends to do cool stuff (for a teen) with. The stell & ashie show, the gas pedal video haha, the gifbooms, etc. I want to say that I respect you for opening your eyes and realizing what’s good for you. People tend to be extra fake especially when they know they can get something out of someone, especially in LA, as you said everyone wants the money and fame and perfection. I am glad you found yourself and now surround yourself with only people that truly appreciate you. I, myself went through some similar stuff and am completely terrified of what people will say about me if I make a mistake – it’s getting better though. I have 1 real friend and the rest of the time I spend it with my mom and sister. I hope everything will eventually work out, for you as well as me and everyone else 🙂

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