Confidence

OH confidence. Such a tricky thing to have and to manage. I’ve struggled with confidence throughout my entire life in many different ways. Being a woman in this day and age and also attached to the lifestyle and names I’m attached brings a lot of comparison and judgement. When there’s comparison surrounding you, not just from yourself but so many others, it can weigh on you and paralyze you and ultimately make you feel less than you are. I always felt comfortable in my own skin and owned all of my choices and to this day I still abide by that but insecurities always tend to creep back in every now and then. And we hate insecurities.

I’m smart enough to know that my insecurities lie to me and only try to bring me down, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t get in the way of the quality of my day to day life sometimes. I’ll get insecure about my weight, my looks, my talent within my career and the list goes on…and on… and on… AND ON. Most days I’ll have immense gratitude beaming out of me left and right, but it’s easy to be confident when things in your life are going well. It’s difficult to be confident when things don’t go the way you want them to, BUT that’s the most telling time.

The thing I’ve learned helps with maintaining or regaining confidence is the conversation you have with yourself. So many people in your life time are going to be holding envy and judgment over your head, so why be one of them to yourself?! You’re the one who talks to yourself the most so if you believe you aren’t good enough or whatever the narrative is, overtime you’ll fully believe those things and that’ll become your truth. It’s easy to say  just be good and take care of yourself but there’s a lot more to it. Trust me, I know first hand it isn’t as easy as it seems, but when you get in the habit of saying and doing at least ONE nice thing for yourself every day, it becomes habit and almost instinctual.

It may seem obvious but surrounding yourself around people who truly care and support you is just as necessary. You may have toxic relationships (romantically or platonically) that you aren’t even aware are getting in the way of your self esteem. The people who don’t lift you up, support you and encourage you every day are the people you need to rid from your life. It doesn’t make them bad people but as many wise people have said “Aint nobody got time for that”.

One of the worst things you can do is succumb to the ideas of your worth being far less valuable than it is. If you are actively trying to seek out happiness for yourself AND your loved ones, you’re killing it!!!! That alone entitles you to having the kind of life you wish to have and the only thing that’ll stop you from having it is you. Don’t let yourself sabotage situations out of fear or self doubt.. 

Confidence comes and goes all the time and I’m even preaching to myself right now, but that alone just shows we’re all going through the same shit every day and we might as well help each other out along the way, no? Think about the things you used to be insecure about as a kid and how you now can appreciate those things or laugh about the ridiculousness of even stressing out over them at all. I used to be so insecure about my body when I was younger (even though I was literally like 90 pounds) and now being way thicker (because I’m a WOMAN now) I can laugh at how insanely ridiculous my thought process was. 

Don’t take yourself to seriously because there’s no reason to! (clearly I don’t being I still take photos on photo booth) Be nice and kind to yourself, even when you don’t feel like it. Start by saying and doing a few nice things to yourself every single day and see how your confidence levels feel a few weeks from now! You are beautiful and special so don’t let anyone, NOT EVEN YOURSELF, make you think otherwise. You can’t spell confidence without I. SO CHEESY, so sorry. But think about it. 😉