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Health + Wellness

Confidence

June 13, 2018

OH confidence. Such a tricky thing to have and to manage. I’ve struggled with confidence throughout my entire life in many different ways. Being a woman in this day and age and also attached to the lifestyle and names I’m attached brings a lot of comparison and judgement. When there’s comparison surrounding you, not just from yourself but so many others, it can weigh on you and paralyze you and ultimately make you feel less than you are. I always felt comfortable in my own skin and owned all of my choices and to this day I still abide by that but insecurities always tend to creep back in every now and then. And we hate insecurities.

I’m smart enough to know that my insecurities lie to me and only try to bring me down, but that doesn’t mean it still doesn’t get in the way of the quality of my day to day life sometimes. I’ll get insecure about my weight, my looks, my talent within my career and the list goes on…and on… and on… AND ON. Most days I’ll have immense gratitude beaming out of me left and right, but it’s easy to be confident when things in your life are going well. It’s difficult to be confident when things don’t go the way you want them to, BUT that’s the most telling time.

The thing I’ve learned helps with maintaining or regaining confidence is the conversation you have with yourself. So many people in your life time are going to be holding envy and judgment over your head, so why be one of them to yourself?! You’re the one who talks to yourself the most so if you believe you aren’t good enough or whatever the narrative is, overtime you’ll fully believe those things and that’ll become your truth. It’s easy to say  just be good and take care of yourself but there’s a lot more to it. Trust me, I know first hand it isn’t as easy as it seems, but when you get in the habit of saying and doing at least ONE nice thing for yourself every day, it becomes habit and almost instinctual.

It may seem obvious but surrounding yourself around people who truly care and support you is just as necessary. You may have toxic relationships (romantically or platonically) that you aren’t even aware are getting in the way of your self esteem. The people who don’t lift you up, support you and encourage you every day are the people you need to rid from your life. It doesn’t make them bad people but as many wise people have said “Aint nobody got time for that”.

One of the worst things you can do is succumb to the ideas of your worth being far less valuable than it is. If you are actively trying to seek out happiness for yourself AND your loved ones, you’re killing it!!!! That alone entitles you to having the kind of life you wish to have and the only thing that’ll stop you from having it is you. Don’t let yourself sabotage situations out of fear or self doubt.. 

Confidence comes and goes all the time and I’m even preaching to myself right now, but that alone just shows we’re all going through the same shit every day and we might as well help each other out along the way, no? Think about the things you used to be insecure about as a kid and how you now can appreciate those things or laugh about the ridiculousness of even stressing out over them at all. I used to be so insecure about my body when I was younger (even though I was literally like 90 pounds) and now being way thicker (because I’m a WOMAN now) I can laugh at how insanely ridiculous my thought process was. 

Don’t take yourself to seriously because there’s no reason to! (clearly I don’t being I still take photos on photo booth) Be nice and kind to yourself, even when you don’t feel like it. Start by saying and doing a few nice things to yourself every single day and see how your confidence levels feel a few weeks from now! You are beautiful and special so don’t let anyone, NOT EVEN YOURSELF, make you think otherwise. You can’t spell confidence without I. SO CHEESY, so sorry. But think about it. 😉 

  • Reply
    April ♡
    June 13, 2018 at 8:56 am

    Very well said. Thanks for being an inspiration. ♡

    • Reply
      stella
      June 13, 2018 at 9:05 am

      Thank you! And thanks for your support! Xx

  • Reply
    Beans
    June 13, 2018 at 9:03 am

    So pretty 😍

  • Reply
    Emily
    June 13, 2018 at 9:14 am

    Can honestly say I’ve been going through this for a while and as you are basically saying, it’s a mental thing. I’m trying to win this war in my head but it’s sooo tough … I feel like I’m not worth it. But this blog really helped me realize some things. Thanks Stella

  • Reply
    Kimberly
    June 13, 2018 at 9:17 am

    I’ve been struggling with not feeling good enough lately because of a cheating bf… but this helped a lot!! Thank you Stella

    • Reply
      Bruce
      June 16, 2018 at 6:47 pm

      That’s to bad usually can’t see the warning signs(flirting,missing dates etc.) and then it is too- late when you find out..

  • Reply
    Jena
    June 13, 2018 at 9:22 am

    Your career? What is your job exactly? LOL. Why don’t you actually go out there and do something other than paid posts for IG.. honestly, your privileged ass is annoying af. I come here again and again because I love Vanessa and want to support her family but you’ve gotta be the most annoying human being, thinking you’ve got some sort of “lifestyle”. It’s not yours to begin with, honey.

    • Reply
      stella
      June 13, 2018 at 9:28 am

      Well Jena just because I don’t share every single part of my life and career doesn’t mean I don’t have one. I definitely don’t spend my time hating on people’s platforms when all they’re trying to do is help heal people from ridiculous comments and actions like yours. No one is asking or forcing you to visit my blog so I highly recommend you stop if it bothers you so much. But maybe instead of reading my posts with such a terrible attitude, you should try to get something from it because clearly you could probably use it. xx Stella

      • Reply
        Jena
        June 13, 2018 at 9:37 am

        Well, I mean.. you still live in your sisters house….. so… anyway lol cool

        • Reply
          Beans
          June 13, 2018 at 10:00 am

          Girl, bye.

  • Reply
    aimee
    June 13, 2018 at 9:45 am

    First of all ignore the stupid haters your a strong women, great blog about confidence be proud of Who You Are that’s what I’d like about you that you are proud of who you are no matter what and you don’t care what other people think that’s the strongest part love you Stella

  • Reply
    Britney
    June 13, 2018 at 10:10 am

    Thank you for this Stella ! This is so beautiful & such a huge eye opener

  • Reply
    Fefe
    June 13, 2018 at 10:12 am

    As much as I try reading these types of posts I never seem to get better. I feel so helpless and noone around me understands

    • Reply
      Bruce
      June 14, 2018 at 5:10 am

      I am no expert but you shouldn’t let depression get the best of you and bring you down.

  • Reply
    Celticsfan
    June 13, 2018 at 10:46 am

    Thank you for this i definitely needed this

  • Reply
    Aubrix
    June 13, 2018 at 10:53 am

    Your blog helped me alot! Thank you for this Stella!

  • Reply
    Lauren
    June 13, 2018 at 10:55 am

    You’re such a great inspiration. Those short articles truly make a difference for some of us so thank you. x

  • Reply
    flawedmoonlight
    June 13, 2018 at 12:07 pm

    You are so inspiring Stella. I have been following you for a while now and have seen how you have grown into this amazing and inspiring woman. Thanks for putting out something like this!

  • Reply
    Bruce
    June 13, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    Stella has no problem to “win (bowl) ’em over” with her Confidence. Probably the best blog to date.

  • Reply
    Rhea
    June 13, 2018 at 10:40 pm

    Having conversations like this gives me hope that there are many people, like Stella, who genuinely want to help others reach their own happiness and success in life. Thanks for spreading positivity and for this, I wish more great things come your way Stella!

  • Reply
    Laura_ella
    June 18, 2018 at 3:46 am

    So helpful and inspiring Stella, really needed that, Thank you so much <3

  • Reply
    Linzi
    June 20, 2018 at 7:09 am

    Love your posts, so inspiring <3

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